WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Friday, June 14, 2013

Funny pengwins

Recent scores:
  • Gills: No, weer still on hollyday.
  • Simpsons: No, wich issent reelly good enuff!
  • Tesco: No, wich is eevn worse!!!
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 /10 haha got Daddy wile he was washing up!!
  • Overall Score: 7.4/10

 Me an Daddy hav been mostly eatin Pengwin bars this week. Do yu get them ware yu liv? Heer is a pikcher ov them. They ar WELL nice:

I like to dunk 'em in Daddy's cups of tea an then suk the gooey choklit. Inside is a nice thik chokky biskit wiv choklit creem in the middol. Yumbol!

Thare ar pengwin jokes on the paks. Heer ar 2:

Q: what is black an wite an red?
A: a pengwin wiv sunburn.
(NOT, as Daddy sed, a nun wiv a javelin throo her nek, cos that's 'wat's blak an wite an red an can't tern rownd in an alleyway?' Daddy wunce told that joke to a nun calld Sister Veronika. She was not amewsed.)

Q: how duz a groop of pengwins mayke a dicision? 
A: they flipper coin. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA they flipper coin!!! Do yu see wat they did thare??


Pengwins ar grayte fun.


Thursday, June 06, 2013

Magic Trees


Sasha got me thinking abowt magic trees. Thinking a lot, akchewally.
Mummy had a book wen she was littol calld the Magic Faraway Tree an sez it waz wun of her fayvrit books.
I think a magic tree wud be ace. Tell me, wud a boy dog pee up agenst a magic tree? An if he did, wat wud happen to his pee? Or his leg? I rekon his pee wud turn into shampayne if he wer a grown up dog, an cola if he wer ownly littol. Then I think his paws wud get magic powers an he'd tern into a Ninja dog an go POW! at cats an skwirrels an smaller dogs in the park. Hehehee....


Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Ansers to my kwestchuns, an an updayte on Oaky!

Recent scores:
  • Gills: Restin (on laurels)
  • Simpsons: No but did see Family Guy
  • Tesco: ownly the littol wun, so no ride in a trolley
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 0 -mummy dukt /10
  • Overall Score: 7ish/10

I enjoyd reedin yor ansers to my resertch kwestchuns!

Heer ar my own ansers, by the way-

 1. I go commando an frolik pants so that I can fully enjoy the resulting draft.

2. Hunny, or vanilla wiv hunnycoem bits in. Choklit sorce is nice too. If it's off the Ice Creem Van I like a "99" wich is wipt vanilla ice creem wiv a choklit stik stikkin owt ov it an sum nutty sprinkles on top, all in a long wafer cone. YUM!

3. Sittin down.

4. Tan/beige/spilt tea.

Thank yu for taykin part!! It was very intrestin. (Hav a look at the comments from last time to see wat I meen.) An Sasha, yu cheeky powder puff! -I can't tell yu the culler of my undies COS I DON'T WARE ENY!!! Hehehehee!

Now I wud like to show yu a pikcher.
Do yu remember Oaky? He is my oak tree, wich I grew from a haycorn. We bort him a bigger pot agen. We wernt shor if he wud need it yet but wen Mummy chekt we fownd owt it was a good time to get him into his new apartment cos his toes wer just startin to go rownd an rownd at the bottom ov the pot.

He has got very big hassent he?
Heer I am doin a bit of... fertilizing! hehehehehe!!


Sunday, June 02, 2013

Getting warmer!

Recent scores:
  • Gills: Still resting
  • Simpsons: Yes!! Homer's brother invented a masheen that translaytid wat babyz say. They sed kwite a bit abowt poo. Hehe!
  • Tesco: Yes but I dident ride in the trolley as sum ov the kids lookt shifty.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: I ALMOST got Granny today but she dukt.
  • Overall Score: 7.69/10

Well I hav chaynged my doobry watnot from Firefox to Chrome an now I can put pikchers on heer! Yippee! I jus wantid to nip in an show yu this pic of me today, wen it was so warm an sunny I had to not a hankie into a sun hat.

I'd like to arks yu sum kwestchuns if that's ok. I like gathering facts.
Heer we go-

1...Wat do YU do in hot wether to keep cool?
2...Wat is yor fayvrit ice creem?
3...How do yu like to eet fish?
4...Wat culler is the carpet in the room yor in rite now?

I hope yu can leev me sum arnsers! I am feeling rather curious.


Sunday, May 26, 2013

Recent scores:
  • Gills: No, weer resting till the new seazon
  • Simpsons: No
  • Tesco:- Mummy went to Waitrose an the Co-Op. I hope she gets my berfday pressies from Tesco.
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: dident do this as Daddy still has a cold! /10
  • Overall Score: 7.26569/10

Well  still can't get blogger to upload photo's.
Blogger obviossly ar on to my spying mishons an ar werking for dark anti-Bear forces.
Alexander Mackensie Bear did tell me how he got rownd them to put pikchers on his site, but wen I tryd it it dident werk. This proovs they ar to me!!!!
I am now unleeshing the Olympic-winning gift of fart into theyer generol direkshon.
Poo on them!
Poo wiv flys on on them!
S-my berfday tomorro- how am I goin to show wat I got?

Thursday, May 23, 2013



Thank kew for yor messidges. I hav told Mummy that she is in the minorrity, an therefor very rong.

So far she hassent relentid. I havent been abol to find a beetol for her pant dror as it was rayning today. I did hav a spider hidden but Granny fownd it an Daddy skwisht it cos Mummy is scared of them.
So I hav desydid to apply the werst punishment of all. I'm sorry, but she leevs me no choyse: I hav desydid to hide all her pants.

Ha! See how she likes it to be stopt having wat's yors!!!

The ownly reel consolayshun to this sitewayshun is that she is on anuther diet an so I don't hav to giv her eny of my berfday cayke on Monday!

Now off to see if Blogger will let me post photo's!!!!!

NOOOO!!!!!!!!! IT WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think Blogger shud be renaymed Bugger. I am now farting in theyer generol direkshun!



Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Things from the Post Bear!

Recent scores:
  • Gills: HORRAY!! We did so well we ar the champions an we ar going up to a hiyer level next seezon!! Wa-hey!!
  • Simpsons: I've seen a few lately, an even sum new wuns. Mostly I watch Big Bang Theory now cos I like to sing along.
  • Tesco: I havent been much recently as Mummy is trying to empty the freezer. Pah!
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: Daddy has had a cold so I've kept clear!
  • Overall Score: nearly 9, considerin the Gills! /10

Gosh it has been a wile since I posted (agen) (I am goin to sak my sekritry)

I am unhappy wiv Mummy for uther reezons too. Most spechally cos it is my berfday on Monday (it's allways the last Monday in May) an I hav allreddy got 2 cards-
I got 1 from Jerry an Ben, an 1 from Beanie. But she won't let me open them an sez I hav to wayte till Monday.

It shuddent be up to her! Snot her berfday!! I don't try to tell her wen to open her mail, do I?
An I don't even shop her wen she eats bits of her berfday cayke erly and sekritly, by curbing a bit off the bottom edge wiv her fingernayle ware no wun will notiss.

She must hav fergotten wat I did last yeer wen she tryd this- I put a beetol in her pant dror hehehe. I think I'll haf to think of sumthing to do this time that is werse so she duzzent ferget it! Eny ideas?!!

Meenwile we hav had uther things in the post too. We had a big parcel from Feronia last week. It had lots ov goodies in it!!! An then we had a postcard from Buttons! I want to show yu but Blogger won't let me put pikchers on at the moment. I'll try agen layter or tomorro... if it duzzent werk then I shall fart in Blogger's generol direkshun!


Friday, April 12, 2013

False advertising!!!!!


Well I am bitterly disappoyntid....

Thare was a TV program on called 4Thought, an it sed it was "A Series of Brief Documentaries". 

I watcht it, an thare wassent a single pair of briefs in it. 

S'just not rite. Yu shuddent teez a Bear like that.

I'm goin to complain....

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Eester!!

Latest scores:
  • Gills: weev been ok we ar top of the taybol!
  • Simpsons: Yup, I finerly put my furry fut down an sed we MUST hav Simpsons on!! An eevn Granny larft at it, cos it was the wun ware Santa's Littol Helper gets a gerlfrend and they hav 25 baybeez, and Mr Burns sings a song that goze "See my pants! See my vest!" hehehe
  • Tesco: Yes, emergensy visit - I just rememberd it's Dilly's berfday tomorro (sheesh).
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5 got Daddy /10
  • Overall Score: 8ish, I gess/10

Well the last time I bloggd was on Pant-Cape Tchewsday an today it is Eester so I rekkon my sekkritry must hav given up bloggin fer Lent!

I hope yu are all well, doin grayte things an stuff. Weev had snow on an off, an hail an sleet. Sumtimes the sun sneeks out but then sumwun goze, "Hey the sun's come owt!" an scares it away.

Enyway. Enuff of this banter. It's time to look at choklit!!

Heer's my Eester egg....

Grayte, issent it?

At ferst I ownly sor the monkey, but then I notist a Bear peaking rownd the corner! See him?

Nyom nyom

The box of Dilly's egg was bigger than mine, wich I thort wassent fair. But then wen she got it owt the box, I sor that it was totally fair after all!
Teehee hers is smaller! Teehee! But she sed it was perfick cos it fit under her snout just perfickly. -Result! Got the best egg and dident get moaned at! Yay!

Mummy got Daddy sum bunnys. I think it looks like theyer on a bunny bus-

Well like I sed tomorro is Dilly's berfday. It's allways the ferst Monday in April. Then she has ANUTHER berfday on 23rd April. She sez she gets 2 berfdays like the Queen. I noe the Queen has 2 berfdays but I don't see the link. I think thare issent wun, she just wants mor ribbon-getting days.

Enjoy wat's left of yor choklit! Byee!!

BOB T BEAR (esq)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Pant-Cape Tchewsday frolics!

Latest scores:
  • Gills: we playd York an got a nil-nil not-a-looz
  • Simpsons: No
  • Tesco: Yes, mummy needid choklit
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 /10 got Daddy agen
  • Overall Score: 7.76569/10

Well lots ov yu hav had fun an frolics wiv Pant-Capes!

Heer ar sum fotoes that yoov bin sendin me-

Ferst this is Bertie, hoo livs wiv Bumblevee. Heer he is pre-lorch:
an..... oh deer!
 Bertie had grayte fun lornching off diffrent playces but got a bit cort up eech time! 
 Go hav a look at all his frolics heer! Bertie, wen yu hanged yorself I hope yu dident get hurt!

Next heer is Alexander Mackenzie Bear, Sandy for short!! He deesydid to onnor 2 tradishuns wiv his Pant-cape. Ferst, he is waring wat we call PANTS over heer, bein underpants. But he is also waring wat they call PANTS over the uther side ov the pond, wich is trowzers. The Internashonal-Pant-Combo resultid in a very long cape indeed! Very impressiv, I'm shor yu'll agree!
Wa-hey!!!!!!!!!!! Go see mor heer!!!

Now to Jerry an Ben.
Um, well they sed they will look for sum bigger pants an hav anuther go, cos theez wuns keep fallin over theyer faces like this an they carnt see wer to jump. It's a helth an safety ishue, peepol, be seeriuss! (Tho pants-on-heds is a grayte gayme in itself!)

Now over to Ostraylia to see Woolley Bear, hoo livs wiv Feronia.  Woolley Bear has a fine snouty face so is mor arrodynamic than me an duzz sum exslent lornches in pants. Heer's wun-
(note hat to keep ears warm as the air racing past them)
 Oooff! He did a mid-air flip an landed belly-up! Go Woolley!!!

OK time to show yu how I got on!
Alexander MacKensie Bear sent me theez fine pants! (Oh hek, Sandy, did I properly thank yu?? I do hope so..) Arnt they grayte? They ar flarge pants so come wiv the added bonus that yu can hardly see me in them:
  getting reddy....
an off!!!
 Oh! Hallo Dilly!
Did yu want a go?
Yu can borro my pants, if yu like-?
 No? Oh allrite then...
Hehe Daddy Windowsill Bear likes theez pants.
They ar a perfick fit!!!
 Hehe they eevn hav a tail vent!!
I hav sayved the next athleet to the end cos of his very speshol effort! I'm shor yu will be imprest!
This Bartie, hoo livs wiv Granny K.  (clik link for full event cuveridge.)
Bartie yewsd his Daddy's long-johns an dident just jump, he absayled down the washing line!!! 
Heer he is, reddy to off (stop looking down, Bartie, stop looking down!)-
go Bartie go!!!!
 Hehe! A soft-ish landing in the snow, an his smile is restored!
Hehe! Well if yu still want to hav a go, let me noe ware to find yor fotoes (link or email!) an I'll do anuther updayte at the weekend. 

Till then, happy frolicking!!!!!

Bob T Bear (esq)